We live in a society that praises independent action. The kind of “do it yourself” mentality.
You’ve heard the sayings:
- “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
- “When you fall down, pick yourself back up.”
- “Suck it up!”
You have heard of Pinterest, the DIY interface for all things you can do yourself. We praise individuals for their independent action or initiative, “You did it all by yourself, kudos to you.” And when someone fails big, we focus on the individual, write articles about their failure or shame them. It is more likely to make the news if someone messes up rather than them doing something good.
Then there is the constant critic. Always lurking around the corner to tell you everything you are not doing right. You know these people.
With so much pressure to be better, do better, look better and not screw up royally, it’s no wonder why we often feel overwhelmed. I mean heaven forbid you actually have to ask a question! Will that make me look stupid? Is that something I should already know?
Not to mention there is also the comparisons game. “Well, Julia seems to have it all figured out. Look at her Instagram with her nice life and cute dog. Oh look, there goes Christy with all that positivity, she must never have a bad day. And there is John, making it to the gym every single day. Look at my life, I have all these issues and problems. Am I the only one? Why am I not where I thought I would be 10 years ago? Why don’t I….. (fill in the blank)?”
All that self-reliance leads us to feel like it is up to us to do it alone.
And then we beat ourselves up when we can’t do it. When that Pinterest project becomes a disinterest project. When we tried to solve the problem, but just made it worse.
But if I’ve learned anything in this crazy thing called life, I’ve learned you are only going to be able to get so far if you choose to do it alone. We need each other. We need insight, guidance.
We need some freaking help!!!!!!!! We don’t know everything, and it’s downright ridiculous to think we should.
The more I grow, the more I realize people who make their dreams a reality seek out others to help them grow.
Think about a plant for example. It doesn’t just grow from sheer willpower. It needs sunlight (thanks sun) and water (thanks clouds) and favorable weather conditions (thanks weatherman). If you’re growing a garden, you need fertilizer and good soil or else it will not grow.
So think of yourself as if you are a plant. You will need things to help you grow and one of those things is other people. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to go to someone who is somewhere you want to be like and ask them how they got there.
The more we do things together and give to the person next to us, the more we gain. Next time you are stuck, just ask. And if the worst response you get is no, then maybe that person wasn’t the best fertilizer for you anyways.
BE INSPIRED
How has someone helped you grow? Comment below.
