Embarking on a new year is always exciting! A new year holds new opportunities and experiences that are yet to be had. We get excited about the prospect of new resolutions, goals, and making awesome things happen. And with the start of a new year, we say goodbye to the year we left behind (so long 2019!). But, there is another thing we should be saying “adios” to in 2020 and that is the negative thoughts. You know, the kind of thoughts that infiltrate our minds and try to corrupt all the good things we had planned in our new season.
So how do we say goodbye to the negative thinking that invades our headspace like a tyrant trying to overthrow a kingdom. Well, for starters, we need to be more persistent and louder than the voice inside our heads.
Talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself
My friend, Nick, recently finished reading Life is Magic by Jon Dorenbos (next book on my reading list). One of the things he told me that stood out to him is the concept of talking to yourself instead of listening to yourself. Everyday our inner voice is telling us things that are quite honestly, not things that serve or help us. For example, here is just a preview into the voice in my head this morning.
Do you have to wake up? Oh, you know you could stay in bed a little longer, it’s not like you have anything you HAVE to get to. You don’t have to write that blog post today. Did you really just eat that “not so good for you” sandwich. What do you think you have to offer that someone else hasn’t already offered? Did it really take you half a day to do that? Look at there, no likes on your blog post, give up while you are ahead.
I mean it’s like a firing squad inside there. And that’s just 3-5 minutes worth! Do any of those thoughts help me? Absolutely not! So what do we do with all of this stinkin’ thinking?
Turns out, according to the National Science Foundation, we have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Let that sink it. I can’t even count that high! Out of those thoughts 80% of those thoughts are, you guessed it, negative. And 95% of those are repetitive. Which means those negative thoughts replay themselves over and over and over again like a broken record even if we are not fully aware of them.
What does this mean? Well, it means that in order to say goodbye to negative thoughts in 2020 we need to be intentional about telling ourselves positive things that support us rather than hold us back.
Practice thought swapping
One way to do challenge the ugly monster of negative thoughts is by swapping them (or what most therapists would call challenging or reframing your thoughts). Here are 4 steps to practice:
- Be aware of what you are saying to yourself.
- If you have a negative thought, write it down.
- Swap the thought, how can you make is more positive or balanced?
- Say only the most positive, kind things you can say to yourself.
Here is an example of how to do this in real time:
Do you have to wake up? It’s a beautiful day, and I’m alive. Oh, you know you could stay in bed a little longer, it’s not like you have anything you HAVE to get to. You have lives to impact and influence. You don’t have to write that blog post today. Someone needs to hear what you have to say. Did you really just eat that “not so good for you” sandwich. You are awesome, and I am thankful for food. What do you think you have to offer that someone else hasn’t already offered? You are unique and have a passion to help. Did it really take you half a day to do that? Yes it did, but you are learning and making progress, look at you go! Go girl! Look at there, no likes on your blog post, give up while you are ahead. Just because they haven’t seen it yet, doesn’t mean they won’t. And you honored the commitment you made to yourself!
See how that worked? It may seem easy, but it takes practice.
Now you may be saying, “Okay Christy, that is a little corny.” And, I will respond by saying, “For the next week intentionally try to notice and swap your thoughts as you experience them, say all types of loving and kind things to yourself, and come back to me.”
I’ll be honest, just in the few minutes of me writing another response to my own thoughts, I felt completely different than when I wrote them the first time.
Disclaimer: It doesn’t happen overnight
The truth is learning to say goodbye to negative thoughts doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a lot of practice and consistency. If you want to change your mindset, it requires proactive approaches practiced over time.
But, what if in 2020 you helped your mind be for you instead of against you? How much do you think your life would change?
If you want to practice this approach, download my worksheet here, and let me know how you feel in a week!
I hope 2020 gives you all the amazing things you desire and may your mind be ever in your favor!
If there is a strategy that helps you minimize negative thinking, let me know down below.
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